Six Ultra Marathons, One Battered Wheelchair, and a Slight Oat-Related Emergency

This past week was Test Week, the slightly sadistic tradition I’ve created to simulate the brutal events I sign myself up for. Usually, these sit a couple of months out from the main challenge. This time, I cut it closer. Why not flirt with danger and exhaustion, right?

So what did I decide to do?

Six ultramarathons in seven days. That’s 5 back-to-back, one day off (because I’m not a total maniac), then one more for good measure. Each ultra is over 42km. I did four 50Ks and one 48K. Not too shabby. In fact, I accidentally did more than planned. Because when your footplate falls off mid-wheel and you still power through? That’s commitment... or a screw loose. Literally.

Why put myself though this? One word: confidence. And no, not the kind that comes from affirmations and glittery journals. The kind earned in sweat, stubbornness, and questionable weather choices. From the outside, I probably look confident. But truth? Not so much. Especially after the fallout from my last event... thanks to two people who shall remain nameless but certainly not blameless. It knocked the wind out of me, metaphorically speaking, but Im sure that was the point! Some people have strange life goals!!

But this year’s different. This year, I’ve got a dream team around me. People who restore your faith in humanity. People who actually care. People who have my back, instead of stabbing me in it! So this test week wasn’t just about physical prep, it was a mental comeback tour.

Let’s talk weather. Rain? Check. Wind? Oh yes. Humidity? Off the charts. Seawater launching over the sea wall and into my face like Poseidon’s slap? Definitely new.

My wheelchair and I took a beating. My pushrims wore down to near extinction! Apparently burning through 10 years’ worth of wear in under a year is a red flag. Who knew? As if that wasn’t enough, my gloves (the new ones) turned into Slip ‘n Slides the second things got wet or humid. Uphills became upper body CrossFit nightmares, and downhills? A thrilling mix of zero grip and “I hope I don’t die.”

Oh, and let’s not forget the invisible pedestrian army who step into cycle paths like they’re crossing into Narnia. Thankyou, folks! Im now perfucient at the emergency stop!

Midway through the week, I started to wonder why I was swelling up like a balloon animal. Turns out the energy bars I’d been snacking on were oat-based. And I am allergic to oats. The bar was literally labeled “Oat Bar.” A less tired and foggy brain might have clocked that!

Add that to my monthly hormonal dip, fibro flares, nerve pain, and waking up at 1 a.m. in a world of hurt... made this test a tough one! But nothing worth doing was ever easy!!

Somehow, between caffeine gels, sheer bloody-mindedness, and a powerful sense of loyalty to my friends, supporters, and the charities I represent, I kept going. On Day 5, despite running on about two hours of sleep and 90% humidity, I clocked my fastest time of the week! Go figure. Maybe dehydration coupled with sleep deprivation is a performance enhancer now? (Just kidding!)

In all this chaos came some fantastic news: the record attempt is going ahead. It’ll be for the most ultramarathons completed in an unsport wheelchair in a single week. Not the 10-day goal I originally envisioned, but its a brand new record again! Don't worry, I will still be wheeling the full 10 ultra marathons in 10 days as planned!

I wheeled through five ultramarathons in five days. Fought wind, rain, dodgy screws, mystery swelling, bad gloves, and chronic pain. I’m tired. I'm bruised. But I’m not beaten...

One more to go....